Quote 3: The Rot of Her Mouth

"She came to me and kissed me and I could smell the rot of her mouth.  And the rot of her mouth turned me on!  (Is there nothing the early days of love won't fetishize?)"  From "Run Away, My Pale Love", in My Life in Heavy Metal by Steve Almond

What a gutsy couple of sentences!  So honest and true.

In France, falling in love is sometimes referred to as "un mirroir des allouettes" -- that's a skylark's mirror, to you and me.  The idea's this: the skylark sees itself in the glass and falls in love with its image.  It thinks it's found an ideal mate, when really it's found a way to admire itself.  This, of course, is similar to the  ancient myth of Narcissus, a young boy who falls for his reflection.  When he discovers it's himself, not another boy, he takes his own life.

Perhaps you've heard the theory that falling in love is simply this: you see yourself reflected in someone else, but in a way you can accept or even adore.  We can view the rot on the breath of our beloved as something beautiful and sexy, and thus learn to love our own rot a little more.  Much of this unconsciously, of course -- it's a psychodynamic theory.

When does the process of "falling in love" move into "real love"?  When you accept your lover is different from you, but cherish them as they are?

Comments

[Cathy]

Nope. Real love is discovering there are things about the other person you hate and loving him anyway.

[Sue]

And that, dear friend, is a quote in itself. (Maybe it'll be Quote 4!).